It’s very common for guys with kids to write in their OKCupid profiles: “My kids come first,” or “My daughter is the center of my world! You want a potential mate to know that your life includes the giant presence of a kid or four. Plus, if you’ve gone through divorce or another crisis that landed you as a single parent, you are no doubt concerned about giving your kids extra care and sense of security. But it is even trickier if one or both of the parents put the kids before their partner.
You also want women to know you’re a devoted dad (it’s no secret chicks get hot for guys who are great with kids! It’s no surprise that so many blended families I know struggle with adjusting all parties to a home where everyone is suddenly expected to revolve around the new relationship. One dad I went out with nearly boasted when telling me about a four-month relationship that went sour because his girlfriend did not understand why he’d abruptly leave in the middle of dinner because his tween son would call, upset about some matter with his hockey coach.
These days, people are quick to throw the concept of neediness around without actually looking at what it is.
I’ve had some of my female readers complain that the term neediness makes it sound like I’m framing women as weak, fragile, insecure creatures that just cling to men (and stress them out). I think women bring a tremendous strength and power to the table in relationships…
A girl friend asked me:“According to your Yep, You’re Just Not That Into Him post, we should be honest with him…But how do I break it off in a nice way?
”So, we know break up is really hard to do, but there are techniques to help you make things go as smoothly as possible.
If a guy feels like hanging out with you is something he’s going to have to “deal with” as opposed to something he enjoys, he won’t want to do it anymore.
In order to have a truly fulfilling relationship (or even start a healthy relationship) with a great guy, you need to come from a place of strength, confidence, and fulfillment.
OK, now I want to step back because I can imagine that my points may have enraged certain readers, who are ready to comment with things like, “Why should we have to reward his dumb ass for not lying?
” And “why shouldn’t we put him through hell if the truth is that he’s an jerk?
And in these families, the parents put their relationship before the kids.
Another’s girlfriend eventually broke up with him after several years because he rarely made time to spend alone with her, instead expecting constant family time with his son.
A strong relationship provides security for your children and demonstrates how a loving, respectful partnership should be. After all, they can be so demanding — not to mention fulfilling.